-
Ryan McGee
Several Contributors
In Indianapolis, one might initially ponder why Dan Hurley is even provided with a courtside seat. A simple serving tray or even just a paperclip would suffice for his needs. The low-slung stool, meticulously positioned by the NCAA adjacent to the UConn bench for Saturday’s Final Four semifinal against Illinois, merely held a solitary piece of white paper: the Huskies’ strategic diagram. Even this document only rested there intermittently, repeatedly snatched, examined, and re-examined by Hurley before being discarded, partially crumpled, as UConn neared losing a narrow late-game advantage against the Fighting Illini.
Observing college basketball’s most vivacious, expressive, and consequently, most polarizing men’s coach for an entire game leaves an observer feeling akin to that discarded paper: utterly exhausted.
Nonetheless, Dan Hurley’s presence remains captivating and unavoidable.
Notably, his initial expletive was uttered just 55 seconds after the game commenced, not with 55 seconds left on the clock. At this point, he addressed one of the three officials – recalling that Hurley had drawn significant attention the previous week for a “head-butt” interaction with an official during UConn’s Elite Eight victory over Duke – and vociferously demanded, “What in the world was that?!”
Following this, Hurley appeared to progressively escalate his intensity towards the referees. His initial concentration centered on Ron Groover, who had officiated four of UConn’s regular-season matches, with three of those resulting in team defeats. Hurley’s first significant outburst was directed at Groover, contesting his team’s opening foul. Groover requested he composed himself. Hurley persisted. Groover glared at him. Hurley pressed on. Groover turned fully towards him. Hurley then raised his hands in a gesture of concession, stating, “Yes, I understand. I’ll settle down.” A moment of shared amusement ensued.
The “calm down” gesture, typically made with two hands, is a recurring motif in interactions between Hurley and those tasked with regulating his behavior. He shouts. They issue the visual cue. He momentarily subsides. For a brief period, at least.
As the referees transitioned through their standard positional shifts, rotating through the area directly before the UConn bench, the Huskies’ head coach shifted his intense scrutiny to each official in turn.
Addressing Marques Pettigrew: “Are you serious, Marques? Is this truly the standard for fouls we’re enforcing?”
Take it easy.
Then, to Paul Szelc, an official bearing a striking resemblance to Groover, who gently tugged Hurley’s trousers to indicate he had strayed across the midcourt boundary into Illinois’ half. “Seriously, Paul! I’m fully aware of the boundary!” Settle down. Subsequently, after glancing at his footwear, he muttered, “Oh, crud. Alright. Indeed, it’s right there.”
However, here’s an interesting turn of events. For every instance the coach was told to “calm down” by the officials, he directed that same admonition to his own players at least fivefold. Following a timeout, he grasped guard Solo Ball, gave him a two-handed urging signal, and instructed, “Relax. This is your opportunity.” Ball promptly sank a three-pointer. Intent on overpowering Illinois in a traditional, methodical half-court contest, Hurley repeatedly gestured “calm down” whenever chaotic plays erupted and the impulse to deviate from the established game strategy – the one outlined on his stool – superseded the methodical approach.
UConn forward Alex Karaban, who himself received the two-handed signal late in the first half before coolly sinking a three-pointer, remarked, “I believe people view online clips and conclude it’s perpetually chaotic. Yet, he excels at anchoring us in the present. Executing our strategies and adhering to our style of play.”
During UConn’s matches, Hurley’s touchline conduct can be categorized into distinct actions, akin to a concise repertoire of signature gestures.
One such pose is ‘The Contemplator’ – reminiscent of Rodin’s sculpture, with his chin resting on his hand. Yet, unlike the metallic artwork, Hurley habitually keeps his mouth agape, perpetually poised to unleash vocal exhortations.
Another is the ‘Deep Inhale,’ where he draws air sharply through his nostrils, and the ‘Forceful Exhale,’ where he expels breath from both his mouth and nose concurrently, much like a powerful bull. He demonstrated this during the final moments leading into a media timeout, circling his gathered team completely before punctuating his ‘Forceful Exhale’ with a loud expletive.
The ‘Kinetic Influence’ is his habitual full-body contortion, through which he seemingly endeavors to impose his physical desire upon the basketball cosmos – particularly when his squad is aggressively pursuing defensive rebounds. He executes subtle twitches and jerks of his shoulders and face, complemented by a sequence of small knee flexes, akin to Luke Skywalker attempting to telekinetically summon an item from afar with only his bodily motions.
Then there’s the ‘Overheated Expression,’ where the coach retracts his lips, baring his teeth as though he’s just consumed an intensely spicy pepper. His arms are also seen crossed over his chest. His hands are often clasped behind his back. He’s observed testing his belt loops with both thumbs. He places his hands in his pockets while displaying an incredulous look. Another variation involves his hands in his pockets accompanied by a constrained shrug directed at a player; let’s label this the ‘Seriously, mate?’ gesture. Additionally, a brief hop with hands still in pockets is sometimes witnessed.
Given recent revelations about his reliance on the identical worn yet victorious suit, which he consistently dons courtside out of superstition, all these manipulations of belt loops and pockets suggest a risky proximity to a sartorial mishap.
“Indeed,” Hurley acknowledged post-game, having exchanged his collared shirt for a Huskies athletic tee, “I’ll need to locate a tailor somewhere in Indianapolis.”
In an extraordinary sequence mid-second half, Hurley condensed an actual two-minute span into a flurry of 96 strides, a single small jump, six single-finger gestures, two instances of the two-handed “calm down,” and a half-minute crouch beside his seat. During this time, he consumed water from two distinct cups and referenced the play sheet seven times. When he eventually rose, he did so with such vigor that he almost propelled himself backward from the court surface into the lower bench section.
UConn freshman guard Braylon Mullins commented with a laugh, “On this elevated court, we all remain vigilant regarding his movements.”
At the start of the second half, Mullins botched an ill-considered one-handed shot near the baseline. His coach responded with what we’ll dub the ‘Breaking Point’: an exasperated two-handed caress of his bare scalp. Mullins, despite accumulating 15 points, encountered shooting difficulties for much of the latter half, prompting the ‘Breaking Point’ several times. With 6:36 left in the game, after Illinois narrowed the Huskies’ lead to six points and the predominantly orange-clad spectators ignited the atmosphere in Lucas Oil Stadium, Mullins failed on another ungraceful attempt, succeeded by a potential UConn fast break that resulted in a turnover, and then a poorly missed layup by Ball.
It was at this juncture that the ‘Breaking Point’ hands left his head, flinging the strategic diagram into the void between his unoccupied stool and the UConn sideline. Yet, akin to the perpetually replenishing water cups beside his seat and Hurley’s glasses consistently reappearing there, so too did the paper sheet invariably return.
(Parenthetical observation: Regarding his spectacles. They resemble reading glasses, and at 53 years of age, the requirement for such would be logical. However, he abstained from using them when consulting the play sheet, yet employed them for distant court observation. Confoundingly, he occasionally forewent them for long-range viewing and at other times utilized them for reading the sheet, leading to considerable bewilderment.)
His staff intervened to physically restrain him on only a single occasion. By Hurley’s standards, this signifies a remarkably subdued evening. The incident occurred with twelve minutes left in the game, as center Eric Reibe entered the court for UConn and promptly incurred his third foul for an illegal screen.
“HOW IS THIS EVEN CONCEIVABLE AT THIS VERY MOMENT?” Hurley roared.
“Coach,” his assistants urged, mirroring the officials, “please compose yourself.”
The closing 43 seconds encapsulated a mixture of all Hurley’s characteristic behaviors observed throughout the entire evening. A quick sniff. A forceful snort. A spasmodic twitch. The expressive hand gestures. An admonition to his squad to remain composed, repeatedly emphasizing “Avoid fouls!” He deliberately, if somewhat awkwardly, gestured towards each player personally.
At the 14.5-second mark, the coach experienced another gentle pull on his auspicious attire. The contest concluded much as it commenced. An interaction with Groover, who was discreetly holding onto the back of the coach’s jacket to prevent further straying. Hurley prepared for an exaggerated reaction but instead cast his gaze downwards at his feet, then across to the official.
“Appreciate it, Ron.”
A crucial interception by Huskies forward Jacob Ross in the waning moments solidified the victory and marked UConn’s third advancement to the national championship in four seasons. Even prior to the final buzzer, Hurley was seen embracing Illinois coach Brad Underwood (who, it must be noted, utilized his sideline seat extensively). Subsequently, Hurley hugged each Illinois player, pausing to engage in direct eye contact with every individual.
Hurley confidently strode to the opposite court side, saluting the UConn supporters. He briefly halted his gum chewing to playfully protrude his tongue at a CBS camera – hold on, was he chewing gum throughout this entire period?!
Ultimately, he grabbed Mullins and – anticipate this – affectionately bumped heads with him, precisely as he had done with the official following Mullins’ game-winning shot against Duke the previous week. This act initiated a cascade of jeers. A profusion of boos. And concurrently, a surge of smiles.
“Are they expressing displeasure at the head-nudge?” Hurley inquired, fully cognizant that his actions were being televised live on the arena’s massive screen. “I’m quite unsure what they’re protesting.”
Yes, he was. They were vocalizing their disapproval of him. Once the television cameras concluded their recording, prior to jogging to embrace the parents of his athletes seated behind the bench, he addressed those expressing their discontent.
His exact words? You’re perfectly aware of his statement.
“Oh, settle yourselves.”
