A lot of people have opinions on the hypothetical fight between 100 men and 1 gorilla, but what about one former UFC light heavyweight champion vs. one gorilla?
Jiri Prochazka was recently interviewed by Full Violence, and he had confidence that with enough time to prepare he could defeat the gorilla.
“I will win. I will find a way,” he declared. “You know we are the [smartest]. This [brain] is the strongest weapon.”
Jiri Prochazka says he’d beat a gorilla by attacking its eyes and testicles:
“I will win, I will find a way, [your mind] is your strongest weapon. attack the eyes then the testicles. The most useful weapons.” pic.twitter.com/IuZvrDwQVS
— Full Violence ™ (@Full_Violence) June 19, 2025
Given enough time, we have no doubt the soon-to-be University graduate would formulate a plan that would outsmart the gorilla. But in the moment? Confronted with an immediate answer to a scenario where a gorilla was charging at him, “The Czech Samurai” was less confident.
“You only have your fists?” he asked. “Man.”
After a few moments of deep thought, Prochazka shared his strategy.
“Attack the eyes, then some testicles,” he said. “Use the most useful weapons, man.”
Everyone laughed, but Prochazka remained serious under the weight of the dilemma.
“Don’t be stupid. Everyone is taking that like a game,” he said. “But when you stay in that situation, there’s no game, man. You will survive or not.”
Prochazka is currently so focused on graduating from university that he passed on a title shot at UFC 317. He’ll be back in the fall, though … and possibly against current light heavyweight champion Magomed Ankalaev. With eyes and testicles off limits, we’ll see what strategy he deploys against the technically proficient Dagestani fighter.
